Heat-Hawks Announcers Mock D-Wade

If you need something to cheer you up after a miserable day in Toronto, watch these radio announcers mercilessly mock Dwyane Wade during a game against the Hawks. It's radio at its finest.

Calderon To Have Surgery On His Finger

Jose Calderon will go under the knife to repair a ligament in his left ring finger. Jose dislocated his finger supposedly in a March 25 game against the Bucks, however we here at PH have learned the true story of what happened.
The evening of March 24, Jose is sitting in his VIP booth at the very trendy Reservoir Lounge Bar. Two twenty-something ladies who are sitting with him see his wedding ring and attempt to forcefully remove the ring from Jose's finger, so they they can marry him and make many beautiful babies. His finger suffered a dislocation, however the ring stayed on his finger and Jose remains happily married to this day.

Good luck with your operation, Jose.

The Rumor Mill

Despite the Raptors poor season, there is more buzz around them ever. What will Bryan Colangelo do this summer to shake up the team and get them back on track? The offseason itinerary for BC is no picnic. He will have to solve some serious coaching and personnel issues. Here's whats been making the headlines recently.

Headline 1: Toronto is expected to retain Jay Triano as head coach.
Bryan Colangelo told the Toronto Star, "I think it's safe to say, coming out of all of the player exit interviews, that to a man the players have a lot of respect for Jay, they respect his basketball acumen, they respect his professionalism, they respect his means of communication and they respect generally the way he leads this team." Backed up by Andrea Bargnani attributing his success to Triano, expect to see Jay around next year.

Headline 2: Bryan Colangelo will offer Chris Bosh a contract extension.
Chris Bosh is one of two 20 and 10 big men in the Association (the other being some guy named Dwight Howard), and is the franchise player for our beloved Raptors. Amongst season long rumors of Bosh leaving Toronto, BC looked to assure Raptor fans that CB4 is not going anywhere (for at least a year). "Chris is still the best player on this team and thus will remain the cornerstone of the franchise," Colangelo said Monday. "I will sit down and talk to him and his agent this summer about the possibility of signing an extension."

Headline 3: The Raptors have shown interest in Brandon Jennings.
Jennings, a projected top 10 pick in the upcoming draft, made the decision to forgo college and play a year in Europe before heading to the NBA. The lefty point guard averaged 7.6 points, 1.6 rebounds, 1.6 assists, and 1.2 steals in 19.6 minutes per game, in 16 games. He shot 38.7 percent from the field and 26.8% from 3 point range. Also, he has awesome hair.

Headline 4: The Raptors will look to sign and trade Shawn Marion.
The Raptors are interested in re-signing forward Shawn Marion (Bryan Colangelo needs someone to sit with at dinner), but hope to sign-and-trade him if they can't retain him over the long-term.
At the end of the Raptors season, Marion made it semi-clear that he wanted to play for a contender. Perhaps BC will try to sign and swing Marion for a higher draft pick.

Raptors' (Totally Accurate) Season in Review

The Raptors this year experienced a very successful season after swinging a big deal in the offseason to send malcontent T.J. Ford and Rasho Nesterovic to Indiana. While Jermaine O'Neal exceeded expectations handily, averaging 18 points, 9 rebounds and 2.5 blocks per game, 2008-09 Executive of the Year favourite Bryan Colangelo swung a deal to send O'Neal and Jamario Moon to Miami for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks - both of whom experienced complete rennaissances in their own rights in Toronto. Marion put up a fantastic stat line rounding out the frontcourt with franchise player Chris Bosh and first-time All-Star Andrea Bargnani, and Marcus Banks assumed the backup shooting guard position behind First All-Defensive Team member Anthony Parker. Jose Calderon also qualified for his first career All-Star appearance (he insisted that he did not want other guards to feel left out, and refused to play), posting an average of 19 points and 10 assists per game. After the trade, the Raptors played extremely well as a team and, while they were unable to catch powerhouses Orlando, Boston and Cleveland, qualified for home-court advantage in the first round, losing to NBA champion favourite Philadelphia 76ers, led by Elton Brand, Andre Iguodala and above-average point guard Andre Miller. The 76ers battled injuries all season, when all three members of their core played, they went an astounding 23-1, led by all-around good guy Brand's monstrous 29 and 14 per game.

As well, the Raptors' future looks extremely bright, especially since CB4 has verbally committed to staying in Toronto for his entire career. Expect many accolades to come the Raptors' way this summer.

Raps Win Fanapalooza

The Raptors beat Philly yesterday, or something.

Yawn.

Hey look at this!

Craptors Drop 4 Straight: 100-98 Wizards

Not only did Raptor fans have to witness Caron Butler breaking Shawn Marion's ankles and then follow that up with the winning shot, they didn't even get a free slice of pizza!

So, rather than depress you by telling you the tao of how the Craps lost to the second worst team in the league, I will instead show you pictures of mirror images found in nature.

Second Last Home Game of the Season

Tonight we have... I can't even say it, the matchup is so bad. The Washington Wizards come to town for an 8 PM tip-off. Why the late start? Probably because no one wants to watch this game anyway. It's the second last home game of this horrid season, and you can watch (if you are some sort of masochist) on TSN 2 (take that! You probably can't watch it anyway!) or on channelsurfing.net, or listen on the Fan590. This game is also available on ESPN2. Something tells me this isn't what the ESPN bigwigs had in mind when they scheduled this game on national TV. More along the lines of: "Dominating froncourts of Jermaine O'Neal and Chris Bosh matched up with Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison! Plus a great guard matchup of pass-first Jose Calderon against shoot-first, -second and -third Gilbert Arenas!" Sigh... and now for a very special What to Watch Instead...

NBA.com preview

W2WI:
- Paint drying.
- Sea Monkeys.
- Grass growing.
- Something that will make you feel good about yourself.

We Have (Another) Blowout: 130-101 Pacers

Remember last week when the Craptors won six games in a row, and there was talk about the playoffa? Well tonight the Craps reminded us why we went on a non-violent blogging strike. The only thing more embarassing than the Raptor defense tonight was giving up a double double to JOSH MCROBERTS!?!?!?! Captain Suck recorded career highs in points (12) and rebounds (11), outscoring Shawn Marion and Jose Calderon's combined point total. Did I mention that Josh McRoberts is a 2 ppg and 2 rpg player? Could have been Raptor Danny Granger Joey 2.0 put up 29 points tonight.
NBA.com Recap

Player of the game:
Gotta give it up for Patrick O'Bryant tonight (yes, seriously). As opposed to last nights game where he looked tired, disoriented, and Michael Bradley-esque, POB pulled it together tonight, starting in place of Andrea Bargnani. POB finished going 8-11 from the field, good for 16 points, grabbed 7 boards, and used every one of his fouls. The kicker: Patty led the Craps tonight with a stunning +3 performance.

Notables:
Chris Bosh - 'Nother day at the office for CB, 21 and 9. His infatuation with the three ball continues however, he has now attempted 7 threes in his past 10 games, he's 0-7 beeteedubz.
Joey Graham - 14 points, 4 boards, 8-9 from free throw. Joey showed up his twin brother good. Steven only had 8 points and 3 boards.

Full box score

Stat of the game:
The Craptor defense was just comical tonight. The Pacers had their highest point total and margin of victory of the season (Toronto makes the record books again!). They also shot 62 percent from the field in the first half, and 72 percent in the second quarter. At half, the score was an astounding 74-48, the Pacers highest scoring half of the season. The Pacers scored their 100th point with 3:33 left in the third quarter and led 115-74 at the end of the period. The Pacers shot 68 percent in the third quarter. I would attach a lesson for the Craps, but who has the energy anymore?

Raps Look to Get Back on Track

Tonight we have the Raps closing out a back-to-back against the Indiana Pacers at 7 PM. The game will as always be on channelsurfing.net and the Fan590, and will - rejoice, for this is a happy day! - be on TSN 666! The Raptors have lost two straight following an impressive six-game streak, and the Pacers are looking for their sixth win in their past eight games.

NBA.com preview

W2W4:
- Troy Murphy has been somewhat of a Turok suring his career. This season he has 45 double-doubles, two shy of the Pacers' franchise mark, and three straight against the Raps. He also recorded a 20-20 game on December 10th.
- Speaking of double-doubles, Chris Bosh has recorded an impressive eight straight. He'll be looking for more against a fairly weak Indiana frontcourt beyond Murphy. Bosh has 40 total double-doubles this season.
- A fun matchup to watch, as always, will be T.J. Ford and Jose Calderon. This season, Teej has a slight advantage in scoring at 15.1 PPG to Jose's 13.1, but Jose has a higher FG% (.502 to .448), 3FG% (.415 to .347) and FT% (league-leading .979 to .867). Ford also has a small edge in rebounding (3.6 to 2.9), but Jose's passing shines through, with the biggest statistical difference coming between Jose's 8.8 APG and T.J.'s 5.3. We should call him Jose and the Pass-ycats! Sorry. I'll show myself out.

Hawks Swoop in for 4th Quarter "W" - 118-110 Atlanta

The Raptors were very much in the game for the first three and a half quarters, but Atlanta got hothotter from behind the arc and the Raps couldn't stop the bleeding as Atlanta pulled away. The win improved Atlanta's chances of nabbing home-court advantage in the first round as the 4th seed in the East.

NBA.com Recap

Player of the Game:
Jose Calderon led the Raps the whole game, doing his best to inspire the troops to rally back for a victory. He finished with a double-double: 16 points (6-11 FG, 3-5 3FG, 1-1 FT) and 13 assists, and played stellar defense, putting up 2 steals and 2 blocks. He also finished with just 2 turnovers, despite playing 35 minutes.

Notables:
Chris Bosh - 21 points (10-12 FG, 1-1 FT), 10 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 blocks. CB4 finished with his 8th consecutive double-double and shot extremely well all night, but one might wonder why he didn't take some more shots, hot as he was.
Shawn Marion - 18 points (5-10 FG, 8-8 FT), 6 rebounds. Again provided a nice complement to Bosh and Andrea Bargnani (15 points) down low. Slashed well, but he's usually better than that on the boards.
Quincy Douby - 9 points (4-5 FG, 1-1 FT), 2 assists, 2 rebounds. The lithe combo guard out of Rutgers led Raptor reserves in points tonight, and gave the Raps a great spark off the bench.

Full box score

Stat of the Game:
For the first time in eight games, the Raptors did not win the battle of the boards. They gave up 11 offensive rebounds, and every Hawk starter recorded at least one offensive board. The Hawks are very athletic and love to hit the glass, but that means that perimeter players need to box out even harder.

Jose and Friends Host the Hawks

When: 7 pm
Where: The Score, Channelsurfing.net, Fan 590

Two pieces of bad news came to the Raptors on their Sunday night loss to the Knicks. Firstly they were officially eliminated from the playoffs. Secondly, it became impossible for them to go .500 at home, as they slipped to 17-21 at home with just 3 home games left.
Tonight the Raptors host the Hawks of Atlanta, who are 43-34 on the season, clinching their first winning season in almost a decade. As of late, the Hawks are not looking like the hottest team. They have lost 3 straight and 8 of their last 9 from home.
Need more good news, Raptor fans? Chris Bosh has been a Hawk hunter this season. Although the season series sits at 2-1 for Atlanta, Chris is averaging 26.0 points and 10.7 rebounds while shooting 50.9 percent (28-for-55) in those three games.

W2W4:
- See the paragraph on Chris Bosh above.
- The Hawks have their own Raptor Killer Turok, his name is Mike Bibby. Bibby has averaged 22.0 points and 6.7 assists in the series, shooting 61.0 percent from the field (25-for-41) and 57.1 percent from 3-point range (12-for-21).
- Coach Jay Triano spoke today saying that he would not rest his starters and play the younger players, despite their elimination from playoff contention. "Maybe the rotations happen a little bit earlier and rests (for the starters) are a bit longer, but it's not going to be dramatic," Triano stated. However, Jay is curious to see what potential there is in Patrick O'Bryant and Quincy Douby.

Raps Can't Make It Seven Straight: 112-103 Knicks

A game that involved 7 Knicks in double figures (Chandler, Harrington, Lee, Jeffries, Duhon, Robinson, Richardson), a downright lack of defense, and Pops Mensah-Bonsu Possum's Phone Ban going 0-7 (yes, he took 7 shots) ended in a loss for the Raptors and the end of their longest streak of the season. The Raps now fall to 30-46, and whatever talk about a playoff run has quickly been silenced.

NBA.com Recap

Player of the game:
It was easy to find Chris Bosh on the stat line tonight. 12-23 for 31 points, 14 boards, 2 blocked shots, 1 steal. Chris did seem a little fatigued late game, however that's expected without coming off the entire second half.

Notables:
Andrea Bargnani - 18 points, 7 boards, 2 assists, 2 blocked shots, most notably 1 turnover.
Jose Calderon - 12 points, 6 assists, 1 rebound. It was so nice to see him and Chris Bosh high five each other whenever they scored.
Shawn Marion - 13 points, 8 rebounds, 3 steals, 3 blocks. Although he continued his inefficient shooting (6-13), the Matrix notched his first ever three pointer in a Raptor uniform. It only took him 11 tries!
Full box score

Stat of the game:
Its no surprise to say that the Knicks live and die by the three point line. The Knicks shot a hot 13-25 from three, which is no surprise when the majority of the threes were uncontested.
In comparison, the Raps shot a saddening 4-13 from three point land.

Red-Hot Raptors Take on Knicks (Again)

After another decisive win yesterday the Raptors are set to take on the Knicks at the ACC. The Raptors are playing some of their best basketball in a couple seasons and could win their seventh straight game.

NBA.com Preview

W2W4:
- The Raps' frontcourt of Chris Bosh, Shawn Marion and Andrea Bargnani has been very consistent over this win streak. Yesterday they combined for 52 points and 32 rebounds.
- Jose Calderon. He's nice to watch.
- The Knicks have been terrible in Toronto since the Raptors entered the league in '95. After winning six straight games against the babyfaced expansion Dinos, our boys have won 16 of 19 games. We'll see if the Raptors can improve the more recent winning percentage to .850.

Raps Perform Magic Trick - 99-95 Raptors

In a stunning spoiler, the Raptors have pulled off a fifth straight win, this one over a team that is actually good. Led by spectacular showings by Chris Bosh, Shawn Marion and Jose Calderon, the Raps withstood the Magic's four-man attack of Dwight Howard, Hedo Turkoglu, Rashard Lewis and Jameer Nelson Rafer Alston, who combined for 83% (79 points) of the Magic's overall scoring. The game had 21 lead changes.

NBA.com Recap

Player of the Game:
Shawn Marion grabbed his first PH PotG nod with a nicely rounded box score of 17 points (8-13 FG, sickening 1-4 FT), 15 rebounds, 6 assists and one steal. He's been getting high-percentage shots, been active on the glass and is a very effective point-forward, and he's adapted well to the Raptors' system.

Notables:
Chris Bosh - 24 points (10-20 FG, 4-4 FT), 12 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 blocks, 5 turnovers. Tough to resist giving Bosh the PotG nod, but 5 turnovers is even uglier than 25% free throw shooting. The two bigs brilliantly anchored the frontcourt with Andrea Bargnani's foul trouble.
Jose Calderon - 21 points (8-13 FG, 2-3 3FG, 3-3 FT), 8 assists, 3 rebounds. Brutally efficient. What else is there to say?
Andrea Bargnani - 16 points (7-12 FG, 0-2 3FG, 2-2 FT), 2 rebounds, 6 fouls in 25 minutes. Was scoring like he usually does, but was very hampered by foul trouble, having to deal with Superman and the Turkish Il Mago, Turkoglu. At least this isn't happening every day like last season, am I right?

Full box score

Stat of the Game:
The Raptors, helped along by Orlando's dismal (40.8%, 31-76) shooting, managed to outrebound the Magic by fourteen, and held Howard to just nine rebounds - though four of those were offensive, the team was boxed-out respectably by the Raptors, and the Magic recorded nine offensive boards to the Raps' ten.

Side Note:
Just to let you all in on a little secret, the +/- statistic in basketball is by far the stupidest stat ever. Jake Voskuhl, namesake of the act of "recording a Voskuhl", posted a horrific line of 0 points on 0-2 shooting (1 block against), 3 fouls and 2 rebounds in 6:37, yet he was +7. Someone please explain to me how he actually helped the Raptors. I will give you a chocolate bar nothing.