The Rose of the NBA - A Friday Night Ramble

- This weeks Friday night ramble features Derrick Rose, who broke the ankles of supposed "above average" point guard Andre Miller. Take a look. Rose, as a rookie, is lighting up the NBA. He is averaging close to 19 points, 6 assists, and 4 boards. Too bad, Kirk...
- The Spurs' big three are back in action, as Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker are both back from injury. They have won their last 2 games, and now stand at 10-8 after their dreadful start. Watch for underrated rookie George Hill as well.
- Yesterdays dunk of the night featured Tyrus Thomas. Apparently the rim did something to piss him off. Watch Tyrus soar.
- Dallas’ Jason Kidd made a 3-pointer Thursday night, the 1,386th of his career, tying Antoine Walker for ninth in NBA history. Even Kidd, a career .337 three-point shooter, did it in over 200 fewer attempts than Employee Number 8.
- Philadelphia forward Elton Brand will miss Friday’s game at Detroit with a strained right hamstring. Brand had an MRI on Thursday and did not travel with the Sixers. He is listed as day-to-day. Just a friendly reminder to all those who disliked the Jermaine O'Neal trade due to his past injuries, yet rejoiced at Elton Brand coming to Philly.
- Rockets' guard Rafer Alston was shocked to hear that the Raptors fired coach Sam Mitchell on Wednesday. "We had our issues, but we allowed other things to seep into our relationship, and that's where the problems got out of hand," Alston said rather incoherently. If that weren't enough, Rafer went on to contradict himself by saying "I know (the Raptors) haven't been happy with the way they have played this year, but this shocked me." Its good that Rafer took the time out of his busy schedule of bribing 2K sports to get him rated 79 overall in NBA 2K8 and flexing in his mirror to talk to the presses about Sam's firing.

Dwight "How-hard" (Can a Free Throw Be?) - a Friday Night Ramble

- Dwight Howard is one of the league's premier big men. He's averaging 21.2 points on efficient 59% from the field, 13.5 rebounds, almost four blocks, an assist and a half and a reasonable 2.7 turnovers per game. He's becoming dominant on defense and his strength and explosiveness make him hard to stop on the offensive end. But he's brutal from the free throw line. Putrid. Awful. Tearshed-inducingly disgusting. He cannot shoot a free throw. In his first season he actually shot fairly well, going for 67%. He hasn't shot over 60% in a season since. This season he's going for 57% - that's right, he's shooting better from the floor than the line. The argument "big men don't shoot well from the line" does not fly with Prehistoric Hoops. Chris Bosh (admittedly more of a finesse player) shoots 83%. Tim Duncan shoots 68%. Carlos Boozer shoots 73%. I kind of feel bad for Stan Van Gundy, really. He has the game's most dominant player, but this kid just can't play more than three feet from the hoop. Imagine if he shot just 65% - not spectacular, but he'll punish you more often than not. This is obviously possible, he shot even better in season number one. But being such a poor free-throw shooter allows teams to use Hack-a-Dwight - which is becoming more and more popular - and watch for it when starting big men are down with injury - and he just can't make them pay. Shooting 65% would put a stop to Hack-a-Dwight, and would make him even more potent down low, as coaches can't throw out their Mark Madsens (yes, still in the league) and Hilton Armstrongs to use six fouls and just push him out of the lane. He would go for 26 a game and record a 20-20 as often as a 30-10.
We at PH play basketball, nothing too impressive, but we can shoot our free throws. I, for instance, pride myself on making 8 of 10 every time. I don't play in the NBA (or do I?) but that also means I don't have 168 hours per week to work on my game.
Just imagine.
- Don't worry! Ron Artest still fancies himself a rapper!
- Stephon Marbury has been suspended for a game for "conduct detrimental to the team." Yawn.
- The Summer of LeBron is in full force. The Knicks, as we've discussed, are major players, with only four players under contract and $18M committed for the summer of 2010. It's gotten so bad that Charles Barkley has said something rude and in-your-face! Barkley said the following in an interview with ESPN, "If I was LeBron James, I would shut the hell up. I'm a big LeBron fan. He's a stud. You gotta give him his props. I'm getting so annoyed he's talking about what he's going to do in two years. I think it's disrespectful to the game. I think it's disrespectful to the Cavaliers." Wise words from the Round Mound of Rebound.
- As a side note, Barkley's autobiography "I May Be Wrong but I Doubt It" is a very interesting read. Unless you've been living under a rock since the 1980s, you'll know that Sir Charles is a very outspoken, articulate man. 250 pages of ranting makes for entertainment.
- The subject of rotund power forwards brings us into our Obscure Former Raptor Update. This week we'll bring you up to speed on the second best player in NBA history with the nickname "The Big O" - Oliver Miller. Miller, according to his Wikipedia page he was once reprimanded by the Phoenix Suns for showing up late to a game while holding a McDonald's bag. Believe it or not, Miller was still playing in 2004 with the Timberwolves, playing 10 minutes a game off the bench, and most likely averaging more oxygen tanks per game rebounds, tipping the scales at 325 pounds. Perhaps the most interesting part of Miller's career is that he twice placed for the Harlem Globetrotters. The only viable explanation for this travesty is that they used Miller's tummy as a trampoline.
Miller's career averages are a semi-respectable 7.3 points, 6.5 rebounds, 2.2 assists, 1.5 blocks and an impressive three fouls per game. Andrea Bargnani, eat your heart out. Before Oliver Miller eats your whole body.

Knickerbockers Make Offers: A Friday Night Ramble

- Firstly, I would like to apologize for the rhyme in the title.
- The Knicks have completed 2 trades today. First they sent Jamal Crawford to Golden State for Al Harrington, and second they sent Zach Randolph and Mardy Collins to the L.A. Clippers for Tim Thomas and Cuttino Mobley. These deals have apparently been made to free up salary cap space in 2010, when notables such as Dwayne Wade, Lebron James and Chris Bosh become free agents. Dwayne's and Chris' agent has been quoted saying "I find it sort of strange, the reality is it's two years away. I don't know why there's so much talk about it." Wise words.
- Russell Westbrook of the Oklahoma City Thunder has more offensive rebounds than defensive rebounds this season. He has 39 rebounds this season, 23 coming from the offensive end.
- Chris Paul is averaging more assists per game (11.9) than T.J. Ford and Andre Miller combined (11.6). I think BC made the right move in keeping Jose. As for Andre Miller, to quote my co-blogger Ben, "Only once he establishes the NBA record for unnecessary dribbles in a career will Andre Miller be an above average point guard".
- Dwight Howard has been to the line fewer than 11 times just once in the past six games, averaging 12.7 attempts over the stretch. Too bad his free throw percentage is a miserable .539. Hack-a-Dwight anyone?
- Jose Calderon, unsurprisingly, sits at the bottom of the Eddy Curry Fantasy Line, a stat in which a player must average more turnovers than assists, steals, and blocks combined. Jose is averaging 5.80 good stats to 1 turnover. The top/bottom ten players on the Eddy Curry Line: (1) Desmond Mason, (2) Kevin Durant, (3) Jason Thompson, (4) Thaddeus Young, (5) Marc Gasol, (6) Bobby Simmons, (7) Andres Nocioni, (8) Emeka Okafor, (9) Yao Ming, (10) David West.
- This week, former 10 day Raptor Linton Johnson was released by the Charlotte Bobcats. One may say he had a relatively short stint-on Johnson (I'm sorry).
- On that note, we can launch into our Obscure Former Raptor Update. Today's centrepiece: Nate Huffman. An import from Maccabi Tel-Aviv, 7'1 Nate Huffman played 7 games in the 02-03 season for the Raptors, averaging 3.3 points and 3.3 rebounds per game. Hooray for another failed Glen Grunwald experiment. Huffman was released by the Raptors and his contract was terminated by the Raptors. Team management charged that he hid a knee injury from them when he signed the contract. Huffman responded by suing them in 2003. In February 2004, however, an arbitrator ruled that the Raptors were responsible for Huffman’s contract. Tough luck, Glen. After getting his money from the Toronto Raptors he decided to fund a basketball camp for children in 2005 with retired Romanian-Israeli basketballer Constantin Popa.

The Curse of the BamBeno - A Friday Night Ramble

- What's the best thing that has come out of Yugoslavia since, well, ever? Beno Udrih tore up the NBA this week, averaging 19 points, 5 boards, 5 assists and just under 2 steals per game. He's been the leader - not Kevin Martin - in his Kings' attempt to get back on track. They were 2-1 this week.
- On the same note of NBA domination, look at O.J. Mayo go! Two 30+ point games this week.
- It was reported this week that Antonio McDyess has fought being traded to Toronto in the hopes of staying in Detroit. Guess what Antonio, we don't want you! Ever thought of that? You can go sit around a table with Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady, Antonio Davis and Alonzo Mourning and talk about what a dark, evil place Toronto is. We'll be throwing whale blubbber at you from our igloos.
- In other Canuck news, Canadian basketball hero Steve Nash got suspended 1 game for an altercation in the Suns game versus the Rockets. ESPN describes the fight's escalation: During the altercation, Barnes knocked back Alston with his shoulder, and Alston charged him. Nash ran in and was pushed back by McGrady, who was shoved down by O'Neal. Alston and Barnes both got 2 game suspensions.
- The Nets' Josh Boone is shooting 26% from the line this season. Enough said.
- The NBA All-Star ballot was released this week, which included such names as: Eddy Curry, Monta Ellis and Manu Ginobili, 3 players who have not even played a game this year. Remember when there used to be standards to be on the All-Star ballot?

Obscure Former Raptor Update:
On the subject of All-Stars, Prehistoric Hoops' all-time favourite player Jelani McCoy was a starting centre in the D-League All-Star game last year. As well, his Wikipedia page states that Jelani McCoy is able to time travel: "In February 2007, he signed with Spanish club Menorca Bàsquet and two weeks before was dismissed." He was signed, travelled back in time, and was dismissed two weeks earlier. Jelani Marwan McCoy, there's always room for you on the PH roster.